Chronological Guide To Managing Wedding Correspondence
Congratulations on your engagement and welcome to being overwhelmed. The anxiety starts as soon as you realize what is involved in successfully achieving your perfect wedding. It continues as you plan and attempt to make that dream come true. It peaks at two in the morning of your wedding day and doesn't end until the last Thank You Note is stamped and mailed.
Luckily though, the survival rate of brides-to-be is nearly 100%. It just takes organization and attention to the small details that make up 
the big tasks you have to complete. The focus of this guide is to show how to perform each and every step of managing your wedding correspondence and to demonstrate how essential a properly set up contact list is to the process.
Using this, you will learn whom to invite, what items to mail your contacts, how to track who is attending, how to track your gifts and properly send Thank You Notes. This guide will explain how to set up your contact list and use it to perform all of those functions.
There are 7 steps in managing your wedding correspondence:
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1. Gather Addresses
2. Create List |
5. Track RSVP Responses |
This guide is chronologically ordered, covers every single task involved with managing your wedding correspondence, and details how to most efficiently use your contact list. It is important to understand that your list is not just an invitation list. When set up properly your contact list will be able to tell you who needs a "Save The Date" notice, who will receive an invitation, who has responded to their invitation, who needs to be sent a wedding announcement and it will track the gifts you receive so you can properly personalize Thank You Notes. A well planned contact list will simplify each and every one of those tasks.
There are some tasks so specific and detailed that they require their own guides (addressing envelopes, wording invitations and thank you notes, etc.). Because of the scope and detail needed for those tasks, they are not covered entirely within this guide and have their own . In those instances, links to those guides are provided. This enables you to use this guide as a gateway and checklist in accomplishing every task invovled in managing your wedding correspondence.
Step 1: Gather Addresses
12 to 7 months prior to your wedding
You might think that the first step is to dive in and start adding names to your contact list, but it isn't. First and foremost, you must bring together every source of data for the people you would like to contact about your wedding. The goal of this step is to get all the information you need into one area so you can begin reviewing, verifying, sorting and compiling it into your contact list.
Get your Palm Pilot, your E-mail address book, your phone directory, your Rolodex, the business cards shoved in your desk drawer, all those random scraps of paper with addresses and all the other sources that you have that contain information about your contacts. Additionally, the contact list for your wedding will include people you may know of, but not know personally. For example, your father's business partner, your future mother-in-law's best friend and your future spouse's high school friends are all possible contacts who will need to be on your wedding contact list.
Therefore, it is essential to this step that you consult your families and friends to determine who should be included. Let them help you in obtaining contact's and information. The cooperation needed in laying the foundation for managing your wedding's contact list is what makes this step so integral and complex.
Because of the reliance on others for information, this first step can often take weeks or months. Further, this step is not complete until you have an address to go with every name. This may mean researching phone books, getting on the Internet and tracking down the correct information, but it is essential that you have actual contact information for your contacts.
Reconcile Addresses
7 months prior to your wedding
Yes, the word most associated and feared with checkbooks is an important part of creating your contact list. You must reconcile all that information to ensure it is accurate, not duplicated and up to date.
After obtaining all the information for your contact list, you should have, maybe even literally, a pile of data. Not all of it will be current, not all of it unique and, most likely, not in any order. You must now sort and verify that information.
The contact data for some people in the pile of data will be duplicated. They might be in your address book at one address, but on the list your mother provided at another. When you find a person who is listed two or more times with different, conflicting contact data, you must determine which is the correct address.
Just as bad are the people for whom you do not have complete contacting information. Some people will just have a name and street address. Some will have a name and Zip code. In these instances, be sure to immediately get the correct information. Friends and relatives are probably the best resource to use to fix these incomplete addresses. Also useful are phonebooks and the Internet. So when doing this step, be sure to have a phone, phone directory, Internet access and a knowledgeable friend available.
Sort Contacts
As addresses are reconciled, or immediately afterward
There are three items sent to contacts concerning the wedding. A "Save The Date" notice gives distant invitees advanced notification of the wedding, an invitation formally invites people to the wedding and an announcement notifies people who are not attending the wedding about it. You must decide in which of those three categories each of your contacts belongs.
As you reconcile your addresses, try to group your contacts into groups along those lines. Put people who will receive a "Save The Date" notice in one pile, people who will receive just an invitation and no "Save The Date" notice in another and the third pile will be for people receiving announcements. This will make inputting your contacts into your list easier, quicker and help you start thinking about your contact list in the right manner.
Step 2: Create List
7 months prior to your wedding
Thank goodness for the 21st century. Prehistoric cavewomen didn't have spreadsheets or databases; they only had crude, rudimentary tools fashioned from rocks for planning their weddings. By compiling contact information in one place and system, you will forever eliminate having to go through the first step of this guide (Gather Addresses). Once you know where all your data is and that it is correct, you can easily use, update and search that data.
First and foremost, use something to store your data that is meant to store data. Do not use a word processing program like Microsoft Word. Do not use a text editor like Notepad. Do not use a pencil and a notebook. Use a spreadsheet program, a database program or a contact management system specifically designed to handle this type of data.
The reason for this is that once you have your data in one of these types of files you can easily use it in any other way you want. You can sort your data, jump immediately to specific contacts on your list, quickly edit information and easily extract contacts that meet certain criteria. Also, when you do want to acheive a specific format or layout, a good data system will work in conjunction with word processing software allowing you to merge your data into the layout you want.
Capturing the right data is just as important as choosing the right tool. Obviously, you need to save the person's name and address information, but you also need to save information about what you want to send them and how you know them. Are they affiliated with the bride or the groom's side? Are they invited at all? Maybe you are just sending them an announcement. Some guests live far away and will need to receive a Save The Date notice. All of those questions should be answered by the data you store in your contact list.
Now is also the time to plan for the RSVP responses you will receive from your guests. To accomodate this you will need a field in your list to denote that information. The same applies for gifts. When you receive gifts and start to mail thank you notes for them, it can be quite a chore to keep the gift associated with the giver. Remember, your contact list is not just a mailing list used to send invitations.
Layout Your Contact List
Your contact list can serve many purposes as long as you plan for them. The simplest way to wrap your mind around how to lay out your data file is to literally start from scratch. Get a blank piece of paper and one guest from your pile. Draw a horizontal line about 2 inches from the top of the page. Draw a parallel line about 1/2 an inch below it. At the far left of what is now a long rectangle, write the contact's name inside. After it, draw a vertical line all the way up and down the page. If that person has a partner who needs to be associated with them, write that name just to the right of that line and afterward draw another line vertically that spans the entire page. If there isn't a person, leave an inch long blank and draw a vertical line all the way down the page.
Now, write the street address of the guest followed by a vertical line all the way down the page. See a pattern? Write the city, state and Zip code, each one followed by a vertical line running the entire page. Once you have copied every piece of data for that person to the piece of paper and followed it with a vertical line, label the top of each column with what information it holds. Above the first name, write "First Name", above the last name write "Last Name"; until every column has a label. Your paper should resemble the below example.
Following the last label, which should be "Zip Code", write "Save The Date" and draw a vertical line. Next, write "Invitation" and draw a vertical line. Then do the same for each of the following: "Announcement", "Source", "RSVP", "Gift", "Thanked", "Ref#", "Notes" each followed by a vertical line running the entire page.
For each column added, fill in information that is relevant to that contact. If they should receive a "Save the Date" notice, write "Yes" in that box, if not, put "No". Do the same for the Invitation and Announcement boxes you created. In the "Source" box, write whom this guest knows. For example, "Bride" or "Groom" would be appropriate entries for this field. This will let you know how they got there and who to contact if anything arises involving them.
Leave the "RSVP", "Gift" and "Thanked" boxes blank. These boxes will be completed as events occur leading up to your wedding. The "RSVP" will keep track of if and how they responded to your invitation. "Gift" will hold what you received from them. "Thanked" will be completed when you send them a Thank You Note. Adding these 3 simple fields now and planning for your correspondence will save you from scrambling to stay organized later.
The "Ref #" works in the same manner--it is a forward thinking field. Technically, it is just a unique number that you assign to each contact. So, for your first contact, use the number 11 (to avoid favortism by labeling someone #1). For each subsequent person, add one to the last reference number used. So your next person you add to the paper would be "12", then "13", etc. This will be used to track your guests quickly, and can be used for RSVP envelopes that get returned blank. See Step 5 for exactly how that will work, but trust that assigning unique numbers to each of your guests will make your life easier later.
Create File And Enter Data
You are now finished with the mental exercise of laying out the format for your contact list data file. Hopefully it isn't a large leap to transfer that sheet of paper to a spreadsheet, database, or any other data storing software device. The labels above all your data on your sheet of paper will become the column names on your software, and the rows will be the actual data of all the people. Be sure to include every column and to enter that first guest's data so you can have an example as how to input the rest.
Example of the layout of contact data in a software program
Once you have laid out your software to match your paper, start the data entry. Once you get on a roll entering your contact information you should be able to knock it out in no time. Keep at it and know that this seemingly tedious task is laying the foundation for efficient and organized wedding correspondence.
Step 3: Save The Date Notices
6 to 4 months before your wedding
The first piece that you might mail to guests concerning your wedding is a Save The Date Notice. While this guide is focused on using your contact list to send the pieces out, the Bridal Track Overview Of Pieces can provide more in-depth details about the Save The Date Notices themselves.
The Save The Date Notice is sent four to six months before your wedding to people who will be sent invitations and will need to make travel accommodations to attend your wedding. This is where the organization of your contact list will begin to pay off.
If, on your list you designated which contacts will receive a Save The Date Notice, it will be easy to use your software to extract just those people. You will, in effect, have a sub-list that you can use to send out just the Save The Date Notices. If not laid out properly, you will have to spend time manually searching through your list and selecting the contacts who need to receive the notice.
When beginning a new task with your list, back it up. Copy it to a CD, E-mail it to yourself or just simply make a back up on your computer. The key is to not lose everything you have worked on thus far. This will be true for each of the next steps. Be sure to make a quick back up before working with your list, just in case.
Extract The Save The Date List
Most spreadsheets and databases have simple tools that let you enter criteria for a column and return all the rows that meet your criteria. Consult your software's help files for specific instructions on how to filter your data, but know that it is possible and simple. Once you are able to extract the people who have a "Yes" in the "Save The Date" field, save them as their own list. Be sure not to save it with the same file name as your original list or you will overwrite it and have to restore the main list from the backup you made.
Extract Save The Date contacts from your wedding's contact list
You can use this sub-list to send out your Save the Date notices. Since it is in a data file, you can create labels with a word processing program and merge the two files. With a properly configured contact list and knowledge of your software programs you can accomplish this in less than five minutes. Of course, each software program has its own features and you should consult the help files if you are unsure about merging or creating labels.
If you prefer to hand address your Save The Date Notices, you can simply use your computer screen to transcribe from or print out the data file to use as your guide for addressing them.
The key to this step is to know when your Save The Date Notices need to go out (four to six months prior to your wedding) and that your guest list can reduce the work needed on your part to get them out. As long as you designated who should receive them, you can simply use your software program to extract just those contacts from your list.
Step 4: Send Invitations
6 to 4 weeks prior to the wedding
Invitations are the formal pieces you send to your contacts requesting their presence at your wedding. They are typically sent four to six weeks prior to the wedding and provide all the details the invitee needs to attend your wedding. To learn the specific details on what invitations are to include and how they are typically written, please see the BridalTrack Invitation Guide.
Sending these will be the second time you use your list and will be very similar to how you used it for the Save The Date Notices. Again, if not set up properly, you will have to manually sort through your entire contact list to select each contact who is to receive an invitation.
Just like with the Save The Date notices, the first step is to back up your list. Next, using your software's tools, extract all the people who have a "Yes" in the "Invitation" field. For specific instructions on how to use the filtering tool of your software, consult its help files. Your program should return a sub-list of just those contacts. Save this new list with a name different than the main list.
Extract invited contacts from your wedding's contact list
Because invitations are hand addressed, it would be appropriate to print this list out and not bother setting up anything in a word processing document.
Addressing Invitations
Going row by row, complete the invitations' envelopes (inner and outer) for each contact on your list. Instructions for properly addressing each of the invitation envelopes can be found in the BridalTrack Addressing Guide. That guide contains all the rules and exceptions for addressing both the inner and outer invitation envelope based on the addressee's personal information. Also available is the BridalTrack Addressing Calculator which takes all the addressee's information and automatically generates what should be put on both envelopes.
Because invitations are formal pieces, completing them properly can be quite cumbersome. This is not to say it is not managable, it just takes knowledge and a streamlined process to effeciently complete the task. For instructions on assembling your invitations and creating a streamlined process, please see the BridalTrack Invitation Guide. There you will find detailed instructions on completely the process properly and effeciently.
One important tip that you will find in the BridalTrack Invitation Guide is to write each contact's "Ref#" field lightly in pencil on the back corner of their RSVP response card. This allows you to easily identify any returned responses that are either illegible, incomplete or torn in half by the postal service. That way, if you receive a response back you will always know who it came from.
Also, using the reference number to search your list will ensure that you quickly find the contact you are want. While many people on your list may share a last name (i.e Smith, Jones, etc.) only one contact will have that "Ref #" in their record. So, even when you do have an easy to read response card, updating your contact list is made easier using a contact's "Ref #".
Remember, your contact list is more than just a mailing list. When set up properly, it is a correspondence management tool that helps with both sending and receiving mail from your contacts.
Step 5: Track RSVP Responses
Ongoing from the time invitations are sent
Invitations generally include a response card for invitees to let you know if they will be able to attend your wedding or not. Tracking this information accurately lets you make arrangements for seating, catering and any special needs guests might have. This step is quite easy, but requires diligence: You must update your contact list with each response and not let them pile up.
Since every response card relates to a guest on your list, your contact list is an excellent tool for tracking responses. Again though, it is essential to foresee this and set up your contact list properly.
A good software program will also be able to total your information. Once you denote on your list that a contact has responded to your invitation your software should let you calculate how many people have accepted. Likewise, your list can be used to tell you how many outstanding response cards you have yet to receive. For specific instructions on how to use those features of the software program you have chosen, consult the help files that came with it.
"Ref #" Field
You can use the "Ref #" field you assigned each invitee to immediately jump to the specific person who responded. As detailed in the Send Invitation section of this guide, you should lightly print the "Ref #" in a corner of each contact's RSVP response card. This will allow you to quickly find them in your contact list and denote their acceptance or denial of their invitation when they respond. Since every number is unique and not repeated, you will always immediately find the exact contact you want when searching your contact list with this criterion.
Once you do find the correct contact in your data file, update their data with their response. If they declined your invitation, put a "D" in the blank spot that is under "RSVP". If they accepted, put an "A". Afterwards, you can use the totaling features of your software program to count how many people have accepted, declined or still have a blank "RSVP" field. At all times you will know the size of your wedding's attendees.
Update your wedding's contact list with RSVP responses
The key to this step is to stay on top of data entry. Your list and software program are only as valuable as the information you put into them. If not maintained properly, you will wind up sitting at a table the night before you have to call the caterer with an estimated attendance and hand counting each response card. Be sure to get familiar with your software program and learn how to search, total and extract data. Make a back up of it and feel free to play with its options without messing any of your data up.
Step 6: Send Announcements
Within one day of the wedding
Announcements are notifications sent to those who are unable to attend your wedding. They are put in the mail the day before, the day of, or the day after your wedding. This ensures that they arrive after the nuptials have taken place which is the custom. To learn the specific details of sending announcements, please reference the BridalTrack Overview Of Pieces.
Generating the list for sending announcements will be just like generating your list for Save The Date notices and invitations. This time you will be searching for people who you designated to receive the announcement.
If you did not set up your list to include this field, then it will be a tedious, manual task. If you did set it up to accomodate this, then all that is required is to have your data software return just those who have a "Yes" in their "Announcement" field.
Extract contacts to send announcements from your wedding's contact list
Additionally, if you set up labels to send "Save The Date" notices you can actually use those labels as a template to create labels for your announcements. First, create your sub-list, by finding just those people who you are sending announcements to and saving that file with a name different than the main list. Now, you can either recreate labels, or you can use the "Save The Date" notices label file and associate it with this new data source.
Step 7: Thank You Notes
Upon return of your honeymoon
After the wedding, keeping track and writing specific thank you notes can be a daunting task. Not only do you have to know how to contact the gift giver, but you need to know what they gave so that your thank you note will be personalized to them.
Using the data you compiled for your contact list will give you a great head start on this complicated task. Adding a simple field to each contact to notate what gift they gave you will let your contact list hold everything you need for thanking them properly. Further, a good data list can help you keep track of who you thanked so you can work on the thank you notes when you have free time and be certain that you didn't overlook anyone.
This step is very similar to Tracking RSVP Responses. The first task is to enter the gifts into the blank "Gift" field of your contact list for each gift giver. Then, when you are ready to write thank you notes, use your list and go through each row until you find one with information in the "Gift" field. Write and address your thank you note, being sure to specifically note the gift received. On your data file, be sure to put a "Yes" in the "Thanked" column. This will let you know whom you have sent thank you notes and to whom you need to still send one.
Extract contacts from your wedding's contact list to send thank you notes
For a guide about the specifics of sending Thank You Notes, see the BridalTrack Overview Of Pieces. It will provide the details needed for properly thanking people for their wedding gifts to you.
Conclusion
That's it. It's over. You probably won't ever need your list again, but who knows. With an electronic file you can put it on your hard drive, a CD, or some other type of storage device and forever keep it. It's not on paper so it won't yellow over time. It won't get lost in mounds of documents that you accumulate during your marriage. It won't accidentally get wet and the ink won't bleed off of it.
In 50 years, during your golden anniversary your children can print it out and show it to everyone at the surprise party they throw for you. Oops! Forget any mention of a surprise party. That parts a secret. Act surprised.
Good luck.
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